Saturday, November 5, 2011
I'm trying to write this for the Brit Mums Prompt ~ Defining Moments As A Parent.
I could think of lots of defining moments as a mum to be honest but this happened this week and it bought home to me yet again what it is to be a mum or at least a mum to my three boys.
I'm simply calling it ''Falling.''
This week my youngest son came out of his classroom at home time in floods of tears.
He ran to me,head down and flung himself in my arms.
Everyone around was puzzled as he usually comes out of school happy.
I couldn't get it out of him what was wrong at all,his head stayed buried in my coat and he was really crying.
My heart was in my stomach,what was wrong?
Had someone hurt him?
Was he in trouble with the teacher?
Did he feel poorly?
I took him to a bench in the playground and we sat snuggled up together
It took a few minutes of cuddles and gentle words to get him to speak and when he did he said
" I've fell over''
So at least now I knew what the problem was!
I checked his leg and yes there was a bruise beginning to start.
A few more cuddles and he began to feel happier,the tears dried up and we walked home chatting away.
Once home he got snuggled up watching his beloved tv,eating a banana snack and all was well.
But for me it played on my mind.
The sight of him coming out of school like that was horrible,not what you want to see at all.
It made me feel sad that he had fallen and hurt himself.
As a mum I don't like to see my children hurt and crying.
As I ran it through my head I began to think at least I had been there to comfort him as soon as he got out of school,which was all I could do.
The thing is I don't like it when my children get hurt and I'm not there.
I know that it's going to happen sometimes being as they are all at school and away from me for six hours each day,it's inevitable that they may have bumps and scrapes and that I won't be there.
I would like them never to fall.
I would like them never to get hurt
If given the chance I would like them to be wrapped in invisible bubble wrap or cotton wool so that if they did happen to fall they would bounce up again unhurt.
That's what I would like
But I'm sensible enough to know this is not going to happen
Over the years I've seen my share of falls
My eldest son has had grazed knees and the usual bumps and scrapes
My middle son has had two broken wrists and a variety of other bumps
I was always pretty cool with that,I didn't like it but I coped and then along comes my youngest son and boy did he change my views on falling!
It soon became obvious to me that he was very unsteady and he didn't fall well,he didn't put his arms done to save himself so this led to nasty falls,scary falls.
Falling became a issue.
But what can you do?
You can't wrap them up in bubble wrap or cotton wool and you cannot be at their sides 24/7,you just can't,it's impossible,and even if you were you would not be able to stop all accidents,by their very nature accidents are sometimes not preventable.
You have to let go and trust they will be alright.
And mostly they will be alright.
And on the occasions that they are not ok you will be there to pick up the pieces as soon as you can.
And you will deal with whatever situation you are given.
You just will I have found that to be true.
You will scoop them up,talk calmly and the reassurance that a parent is there will soothe your child as nothing else can.
Parent love is pure magic :-)
And that is my defining parenting moment of this week
I will be there for the boys as soon as I can if things go wrong
I hope they know this and I hope I manage to bear this in mind whenever those precious children of mine go about their daily life.
I would like to leave this post with the words of this old and tattered poem I have pinned to my kitchen door. When I get a bit twitchy about anything I consider worrying about the boys I read it
I do not know who wrote it or where I got if from,I dont even know its title
The Incy Wincy spider went up the water spout
Like our children
Ready to sprout
We wish they'd wait for one more day
To spread their wings and fly away
From our protective loving arms
Into the world that can do them harm
We say '' Take risks! Learn and try''
And then stand back to watch them fly
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Despite our efforts
They hurt,have doubts
Humpty Dumpty had his spill
Down he came,like Jack and Jill
The world is just too big a place
To keep them safe with our embrace
We say, ''Im sorry that your pain is real
I know how exactly how you feel.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
Clouds always pass
Morning comes again
We know that they will stumble and fall
Like that baby,cradle and all
And though our children make mistakes
The human spirit is too great too break
We say, '' Everyday starts anew with promises for me and you''
So the Incy Wincy spider went up the spout again
Bring on the wind
And the rain!
We know that only through living we learn
Every trial we face is another turn
To try again another way
Tomorrow can be better than today
We say, ''Peace be with you.Live and learn!
We'll give you all our love when you return.''
Phew that was a lot to write down! Im glad I did it though
Now to try and link up with http://www.britmumsblog.com