Seen and Felt

This year I have seen and felt lots of different things

I have watched as people that I love have seemed lost and struggled to find their way in a world that is not always easy to navigate.
This has been hard to watch,to see someone you love dearly, lose their way is not nice in anyway,shape or form.
And to know deep down that this is their journey and only they can do this..whats the old saying..you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink...oh so true.
Luckily I think the said person is getting back on track and while the lost phase made me sad beyond belief the new phase makes me smile,grin and just love what I'm seeing...phew!!!

I have seen the power of a inspirational teacher.The true difference that a inspirational teacher makes to everything they touch... the children who they teach and the parents of the children.

How different it is to a child to be truly liked and to know that they are liked,the difference is immense,I have seen this.

How different for parents to be told,possibly for the first time 'your child is great,I love these children and won't hear anybody say any different' it makes a huuuuge difference believe me.

I have felt the kindness of people that I have never even met and yet I can call them friends.

My Internet buds who have indeed through thought and deed shown me true care,through emails,chats and a real tangible act that floored me by its kindness.

I know people may find all this Internet marlarkey a bit hard to fathom and in the past so would I but I have felt people's care this year and I have indeed come to realise that it can be real.

I have seen the Internet community come together on a number of occasions this year, for Multiple Mummy and for Clara at Boo and Me. Unbelievable as it may be, these friends you have in your phone are pretty real and a fab lot they are too,choose your online community carefully and if you do you will discover pure gold dust.

I have watched people grow up and take such a mature outlook to the path they have chosen,showing dedication beyond what I have ever seen before.This wows me!It makes me smile and I marvel at how forward thinking they are and I hope that a bit of their organisational skills will rub off on me,coz I bloomin need it too!

And it so hits me between the eye that I wouldn't have predicted this one and that in turn leads me to know that no matter what you think you know may not necessarily come true ~ a learning curve for me that I have digested and taken on board.

I have felt the emotions of one who feels things strongly.... happy... woohoo let's say we love you and smile and run round excitedly with the biggest smile in the world,let's go on walks and throw sticks and be so choochily adorable,best friends forever, pinky promise friends 

or

unhappy let's stop right there,it's not great,it doesn't need documenting but it has taught me such valuable lessons,like it or not....

How to stay calm under severe provocation,I now honestly think the world could crash down on me ,thunder and lightening very very frightening kinda stuff and I would react in a calm way... ok Mr Lightening I can see you are cross I appreciate your pain,can you please go and throw your lightening bolts somewhere where no one can get hurt,there's a good chap and Mr Thunder I know you are angry and if you want to make loud noises go ahead,yep get it out your system,loud as you can,it doesn't worry me and we both know you will feel a lot better when you have calmed down

It's also taught me about basic human emotions,the cycle of anger,how people loose it or as the old saying goes the red mist descends.

And it's given me more fire myself and I have to grin at that because I'm basically not a fiery person and it does take a lot to rattle my cage but after working through some tricky situations I feel a spark of that fire has landed on me and I'm actually glad that it has!

I have seen someone who has worked all his life take on the role of retirement.

He is busier now than he has ever been in his life!

Chief taxi driver for all!He gave up bus driving to become a taxi driver and that is no exaggeration!

But he seems happy,tired but happy.

No matter how busy he is,it's not the same as having to answer to a boss or live by a strict timetable where you have to be where someone else says you should be or else.He doesn't have to have the general public to deal with and have to remain polite and civil under,sometimes extreme provocation and he doesn't have to do early mornings and late nights in every kind of weather that God sends.This is all good and our family loves having him around!

I have watched as work relationships change,friends for many years who are suddenly transferred to a different work area and although physically we are literally under a minute away from each other everything has changed.

That daily contact has gone,simple as that,just like we knew it would.

No more cuppa's,no more outside duties together,no more singing on the carpet and doing frantic action songs that would leave me breathless and her looking like a M&S model with not a hair out of place,no more intense discussions of our work records when we used to thrash our ideas out together and always come away feeling better and more settled,no more hearing the little things about each others families,the little stuff that may only come out to a close friend if they are there at a certain moment in time ~ no more of that and this has made me sad.We had such a history together,babies born... my children,her grandchildren...her sons growing up...my sons growing up,she was ultra amazingly tidy whereas I'm ultra amazingly messy and we both knew and accepted that,we kinda complemented each other like good friends do.But things changed when she left,we still are good friends but life is busy and we don't get time to speak as much,in my heart tho I still feel the same.

Such a lot of things I have seen and felt throughout last year,things that were good and things that were bad and now a new year starts,I'm hoping for a good dose of the good stuff and I hope that we all get that,wouldn't it be nice,not lottery wins for all,although if possible I'd go for that too,but realistically if we could all feel at ease with our lot and have enough of everything that makes life bearable,it would be oh so nice.