Puddles Of Grey

 Tonight as I walked to the garage I remembered the last time that I had done the lunchbox routine.

The eve of my sons twenty first birthday.

What a night that had been!

We had had a full school/work day and then a swimming lesson and then a trip to Tescos to buy the fresh party supplies and young Chips hadn't landed in bed until at least nine thirty,waaaaay past his bedtime and I didn't get to bed until after one o'clock which was definitely waaay past my bedtime too. I was then up at five to start preparing for the coming day.

Birthdays,last day at school for me and Chips,a different department for me to work in for one day only and the big birthday party that night,the gathering of the clan,the family bun fight. What a day!

I literally didn't know if I was coming or going.

So compared to that night tonight should be a doodle really.

But it's not.

Since that night things have got steadily easier,thankfully,and I have relaxed. This has been bliss and much needed but it also makes the return to routine hard. I don't want to return to routine and Iam finding it hard going, remembering all the little itty bitty bits and pieces that make up the school and work routine.

I have just about done it. But it wasn't easy. It took some doing. My focus had to be reigned in,never easy for me.

This start back to routine and normality is not going to be easy. I have been holding on to the Christmas feeling for as long as I can and now I'm being dragged kicking and squealing into January against my will. Mind you I was dragged into December against my will!Not enough time left to prepare,not enough money to spend,not enough of anything needed to make Christmas happen. Perhaps it's time to embrace the upcoming month and welcome it with open arms instead of fighting against it. 

I do honestly think that without a bit of strife you dont truly appreciate the 

good as much and I guess it does me no real harm to feel the differences that come and go in life...while I may not relish being whipped around the face with icy blasts,I do appreciate that yep this is winter and the winds are icy cold,feeling the cold winds makes it easier to feel the difference when the warmer spring breezes begin to drift in. And feeling the hurry scurry of life makes me appreciate the holiday times just that bit more - the flop down,curl up on the sofa moments,the get into bed and just breathe moments - ebb and flow my friends...ebb and flow.

There...have I convinced myself that January is going to be ok....at the moment Im not sure. Someone tell me that it will be ok,please.

 A few photos of a murky old day,full of grey and sharp,icy wind.

Oh and a splash of colour. I was determined to find some colour